I want to talk to you all today about how to gain control in a world that is complete chaos I've seen this come up more and more where it seems like society as a whole is becoming more depressed I see people sort of making posts about okay like how do I exist as a man today right like I can't support a family I'm saddled in debt like I I can't buy a house it seems like there's just more despair everywhere we look and the problem is that the scale of problems that people are dealing with maybe that you're dealing with like you just can't fix them right you can't fix things like climate change and I heard recently that you know some parts of the United States have passed bills that allow like 14 year olds to work overnight in restaurants and like meat packing plants and things like that like we can't control what is going on today and the problem is that what's going on today it seems like kind of like the
world is going to hell right so much stuff is getting worse it's like for about a hundred years is the human race we were focused on Surviving and we sort of achieved that and even today like survival is not too hard but somehow at some point we like started prioritizing survival over like hope and so the world everyone's living really long but everyone is becoming incredibly hopeless the climate is changing there's runaway inflation people are saddled in debt there's even like these these things on the horizon that are really terrifying like you know the number of new children being born is like stagnating so there are some societies where like we won't be able to take care of old people anymore and so we kind of look at the world like we've created something where you know sure we're not dying and there's improvements in things like infant mortality and medicine and we kind of managed covid in some ways but like so much stuff is getting worse and the challenge is if you're like existing in this world I hear people
struggling it's like how do I live right how do I wake up every day and do something because all of the effort that I put forth seems like it's not gonna be enough and believe me I see it too it's like I can't fix those problems right like you can't fix climate change you can't fix inflation you can't infix wealth inequality you can't fix that we're like you know managing to destroy our oceans you can't fix how tall you are and what online dating is looking like and like you can't fix any of that stuff so how the hell do you deal with it and it's funny because I see this meme that's been circulating recently about you know the it's like the bus meme where there's like this person who's looking in one side and they're like they're really sad because they have no control in their life and on the other side someone is really happy because they have no control in life and that seems to be sort of the answer right is because we can kind of acknowledge that we have no control but then there's like
some people who are able to be happy with it and that seems to be a big part of the answer but like we don't really know how to do that and so I'm going to share with you all today like how to move from one side of the bus to the other side of the bus how can you move from being devastated by a lack of control in your life to actually being at peace with having no control over your life and bizarrely how you can actually start to gain some control by acknowledging that you have no control hey there thanks for watching and I'm glad these videos have been helpful a lot of times I'll read the comments and see people asking well what do I actually do about it which is a great question and unfortunately the resources out there haven't been that great which is precisely why I started HD in the first place HG coaches are trained on a curriculum that integrates my understanding of what motivates us what paralyzes us and most importantly what leads to Lasting behavioral change if you're ready to take the next step HG coaches can help you build the life that you want they've helped people build
careers help people find relationships build networks of friends and even do things like discover their passions or pursue Hobbies so if this sounds like like something that you'd be interested in check out the link in the description below and this is a problem that is becoming increasingly worse frankly because our brains were not evolved to deal with the society that we live with today so we have to understand that like society's changed rapidly over the last 200 years over the last 2 000 years but our brains have evolved over like millions of years hundreds of thousands of years and so if you kind of think about what have our brains evolved for so what was like the scope of bad news that the human brain could get right so we lived in like tribal communities for like most of like Homo sapiens existence maybe like 50 people 100 people 200 people maybe like 50 kilometers away there was like another tribe and so you wake up every day and like what's the bad news that you can get like you only get bad news from your tribe maybe someone got sick maybe
someone you know had an accident but it's not like the amount of information that is coming into your brain is like problematic it's the other way to think about it is like you can think about animals like chimpanzees and how much negative information or hopeless information do chimpanzees get and so human beings haven't evolved for this High stimulation world that we live in today our brains have evolved for like these low stimulation natural environments where maybe once in a while there's kind of like a drought and you kind of wonder what you need to do about that but on a day-to-day basis like things are pretty chill that's how they are for animals that's how they've been for the majority of human history and that's what our brains have evolved for and so generally speaking even then when our brains faced a problem like a global problem like a big problem like a drought or a fire or someone in our community who's been injured or died while they were hunting or something like that our brains can process that and figure
out how to deal with it if there's a drought okay we need to like we know there's like a river that's a hundred kilometers away so we need to move in that direction we can kind of fix that problem so even in the scale of global problems our brains are able to process that and sort of come up with an answer but if we think about the world today the high stimulation internet Information Age this is the information Age and what do we get overloaded with information so now our brains are sort of like overburdened because how do I fix climate change how do I fix inflation how do I navigate dating how do I navigate you know this Mental Health crisis how do I navigate narcissistic relationships how do I navigate being bullied by some random on the internet how do I navigate the fact that my tweet didn't get as much likes as it got yesterday this is what your brain is trying to navigate and it has no idea how to do it because that's not what it was designed for and so what do we do in this situation right because we're getting overburdened by problems that we can't solve and our brain does not know how to move forward
so we're seeing an unprecedented level of existential depression hopelessness and despair and it turns out that there's actually an answer to this problem and human beings sort of figured it out actually a couple thousand years ago when Society started ramping up so as Society started to develop what we noticed is that human beings started to despair more about the future about things that were out of their control and the best example of this I think actually comes from the Hindu tradition and there's this text called the bhagavad-gita which is a conversation between a prince and his charioteer and the prince is despairing because there's a civil war that's about to break out on on one on the prince's side there's good guys and then on the opposite side are actually his cousins and on the opposite side is a lot of people that he loves and respects so his grandfather who he loves and respects is on the opposite team his teacher is on the opposite team and he's despairing because he's like I don't want to kill my grandfather I don't want to I don't want to destroy the kingdom I don't want like what's
gonna happen like we're fighting and there's no there's no gonna there's no winning here there's just gonna be losing because even if we live live we've killed half of our family and we've devastated the kingdom and so he's despairing and he's like you know what I don't want to fight like I'm done like it's not I can't fix this problem so it's charioteer who's Krishna turns to him he's kind of believed to be divine or whatever because he why is he Divine because he figured this out right so he shares with Arjun the prince one piece of wisdom and the whole conversation is Central around this kind of one piece of wisdom which is and what he tells Arjun is that as a human being you are not entitled to the fruits of your actions all you are entitled to is the actions themselves so it sounds kind of bizarre but what he tells Arjun is that you can't really control whether the kingdom is ruptured whether if you go into battle against your grandfather you can't control whether your grandfather dies or not maybe you could die you can't control whether you're gonna die you can't control whether your grandfather's gonna
die you can act right but even if you go into combat sometimes you lose and so what he tells Arjun is that fundamentally you do not control anything outside of you you can't control whether you win the war or lose the war you can't control whether you live or die you can plant a seed every single day for the rest of your life and none of them may turn into plants all you can control as a human being is your actions and so I went to India and I like discovered this philosophy it was taught to me and I sort of implemented and transformed the way that I started to live my life and if you guys want to learn how to do this how can you transition from being terrified of all of the things that are going wrong in the world that fill you with Despair and paralysis because you can't fix them and you're damn right you right and there are people out there who are telling them that yes you can fix these problems if you're a dude who's five foot three balding and overweight it's gonna be hard to find a healthy relationship through online dating this is a reality that a ton of
people like experience and the challenge then is in that situation you can't make someone fall in love with you and I want you all to think about this for a second what are the things that you try to control in your life do you try to get people to love you do you try to get people to respect you do you try to be the best right you can't you literally cannot do that it's impossible you cannot control someone else's thoughts and the more that you realize that the better off you're going to be and so where does this journey start so I'm going to teach y'all really simple meditation technique okay simplest meditation technique that I've ever taught so I want you to take your hands and I want you to put them in front of you and then I want you to make Fists and then I want you to close your eyes and clench your fists and then your hands are kind of touching in front of you and now I want you to kind of move them out and clench your upper body and feel the tension and now come back towards the center gently keep your eyes
closed and just feel your body and now take a deep breath in and out and relax let your arms come back to your sides keep your eyes closed and I want you to who you are in the second feel your body feel notice your mind and notice right now in this moment what can you actually control if you really pay attention you're going to recognize and you can open your eyes now like this is it this is everything you can control you cannot control anything outside of this I'm trying to film something right now but I can't control whether the hard drive records it I can't control whether the camera messes up I can't control whether the power goes out I cannot make this video do you all get that all I can do is show up click a button turn everything on and try to shoot it whether it actually gets made or not is completely out of my control there are thousands of things that can happen that
I have no control over so if you want to start this it starts with this very simple exercise and and what I encourage you all to do is sit there for five minutes and literally look at what you have control over in this life all it is is this it's this body I can control what I do with my fingers to a certain extent I can control what I do with my mind right and some of us don't have control over our body or our mind and that's it once you realize this it starts to change a lot of different things once you realize that hey I can't make this person fall in love with me once you start to realize that okay if I'm five foot two and I'm balding I may not be able to find a partner online you can't control that and normally what that causes us to do is it leads to despair but that's only if we're focused on the outcome so if I wake up every day and I focus on what I can actually do which is what
this instrument what this human body is capable of what's bizarre is this leads to peace and it leads to success and the real tragedy is that the more that we spend energy trying to control things outside of us the worse things actually become because think about it for a second right if I spend my entire day worrying about how to get this person to continue to love me or not break up with me or how I get this promotion or how I get an A on a test I can't make this person love me and I try and since I fundamentally cannot use mind control I can't make that person love me and so I try and I try and I try and it's impossible to do so what does that mean it means I inevitably fail the more that I try the more that I fail the more that I fail for an impossible task the more despair I have and that's natural as well because the brain is like hey we've tried this it didn't work we tried this it didn't work we tried this it didn't work we tried this it didn't work I see this all the time when people are talking about dating they're trying trying trying failing failing failing therefore it is impossible and it's fundamentally because they cannot
control another human being all you can control is yourself and this is something that like I kind of discovered luckily right so I went to India and someone had I I was lucky enough to where someone taught me this principle and I started implementing it right I started closing my eyes every day and focusing on this person that I am and this is the only thing that I can control and the Really bizarre thing is when I was in college I was focused on getting A's and I wanted to be the best and I wanted to go to Harvard I wanted all these outcomes and what did I end up doing I was so worried about being the best that I just didn't study and I started failing and failing and failing then I applied to medical school the first time and got rejected from 40 medical schools applied again next year 40 more applied third year hey I got accepted to one place and I started med school and at this point I had learned this like philosophy it's even today how I try to live my life you know why did I keep applying if I kept getting rejected really simple because there's only one I can't control whether I get in or not
all I can control is whether I apply really simple I had family members telling me hey this is stupid you should do something else what about Plan B Bro you've been doing nothing for three years I was like you know what this is all I control I'm gonna I'm gonna do it so when I started med school that philosophy was front and center I didn't care about my grades I cared about hey what am I going to do I'm going to learn medicine and it got to the point where when I graduated it's kind of a cringe story I didn't even go to my graduation ceremony there was like an award ceremony because in my mind I had not even considered there's no way I'm going to win in the war right because like I'm this degenerate who's like failed a bunch of classes I'm not even looking at my grades I'm just focused on learning the material turns out I won two Awards and didn't even show up it never crossed my mind and even today I'm not saying this is like it's not I'm not trying to flex on y'all I'm just sort of saying that if you sort of think about it right think about how much energy you waste thinking
about despairing about things that are outside of your control and I've been there I've been so terrified of not graduating from failing a class that I can't even study I've been so terrified of being alone that anytime I talk to someone I'm thinking about oh my God this person is going to discover that I'm a loser and that I've never been on a date before or that my dates have been catastrophic and I'm trying to go out on dates on people but I can't even ask them out because I can't get a rejected so like we go on these dates where I think it's a date and they don't think it's a date because I don't have the balls to ask him out this is the crap that goes on in my head and how did I end up finding a girlfriend I decided to be celibate stopped worrying about it focused on what I can actually control and that's the freaking irony right and there's science to back this stuff up that if you want to attain a flow State you can't be focused on the outcome you have to be focused on the action and so it starts with this
close your eyes for a moment and just recognize what you are this is it buddy this is all you can control anything that you can feel you can control and think about all the people that you're worried about you don't want this person to do this you don't want this person to do this I've worked with people who've been traumatized and they're like oh my God like you know it's terrible right because you can't control someone if you're in an abusive situation you don't necessarily have the freedom to get out of it and other people can give you advice just leave you can't do that all you can control is in here and the real tragedy is even in here is a struggle literally the purpose of HG and why we started doing this is to help you win the war in here we're not out there telling you to go fix climate change we're not out there good telling you to go fix the economy we're not worried about any of that crap because all of that stuff even if you think about the philosophy of what we're doing here we don't solve The World's problems because we can't I cannot save this Mental Health crisis I can't fix climate change I can't do
any of it and yet I wake up every day and I'm pretty excited about life I'm grateful for life I sometimes get these terrifying thoughts of the world that my children will inherit can't control that what can I do I can try to help I can show up I can make this video I can teach you this principle I can give you one exercise to get started and the rest honestly is up to you because I can't fix you right I may be as brilliant or whatever trained here or whatever like studied in India I cannot fix you all I can do is share this with you the rest of it is entirely in your ball court and the Buddha for example conquered this problem and it took him like 10 years I haven't conquered it I learned some of it and that took me eight years and the struggle that you have is a hundred percent real I do not mean to minimize it but if you really want to understand how can you be at peace with the fact that the world is going to hell you be at peace because you can't control that
crap anyway all you can control is yourself and the cool thing is that if you start there in whatever this tiniest way that you can and it could be something as simple as after you're done with this video you're going to get up and you're going to take a shower for the first time in a week or you're going to fix yourself a healthy snack or you're going to open a textbook and start studying or you're going to do something else like and this is what we try to teach you the rest of what we do is all about teaching you how to conquer yourself and the last story that I'm going to leave you all with is when I became a doctor I trained at some pretty good places had amazing teachers and I worked really hard and I can't stop death I had patients with cancer got diagnosed can't fix them I'd sometimes had patients who were traumatized suicidal I can't fix them either I can try but I cannot fix them and so the last thing the thing that I'm incredibly grateful for is I've been given a life
there are times where I've thought that I can fix other people and boy did life show me how wrong I was and this is the really crazy thing what the really beautiful thing about working with a patient who's terminally ill is when you share this philosophy with them they can find peace with death they can find peace with okay this is actually out of my control I cannot control whether I live or die and so what I'm going to do is just live every day to the fullest and that's what I'm encouraging you all to do I completely agree that the world is going to hell there's Despair and hopelessness all over the place there's climate change inflammation you know relationships are getting screwed the economy is getting screwed the oceans are getting screwed everything's getting screwed and you can't do anything about that what can you do close your eyes make a fist put your arms together feel that because that's all you can control and once you start focusing on that
fingers crossed the solution that worked for Arjun the solution that worked for Buddha and the solution that has worked for hundreds of people that I've taught it to will work for you too but hey here's the crazy thing you say but what if it doesn't work I can't control whether it works and you can't control whether it works the only thing that's important is whether you try